ipod

Is it just me, or does the ipod ROKR make anyone else think of Al Roker? (Or do I watch the food network too often?)

In other news, Ashton & Demi Moore got married. Did they? Or did the entire nation just get punk'd?

Steroids!

And baseball, of course.

A friend of mine was trying to convince me to go to the Nationals game last night--actually afternoon, thus the reason I couldn't go, you know, the working world! The plan was to drink a lot of (overpriced) beer, and yell obscenities at Barry Bonds! Might have been fun.

Of course, when my roommate was driving me to the metro this morning, after I walked out of the door and watched a bus go by and knew I would have to stand for about 20 minutes while being beeped at by Mexicans, he told me that Bonds didn't play last night. Ha. Sounds like a nice wasted trip to a baseball game.

Oh baseball, apparantly Palmeiro's testimony leaked and he pointed the finger at Tejada? You know I wish the Orioles were on steroids so that they wouldn't let the &%&%$(%!%^#!%$$ Yankees win. Oh well, better they're not and my Red Sox will win the next 3. :D

Oh baseball, I love you, I am getting so excited for October already! (And hopefully I will have a place to live then too... Did you know that S. Arlington is dangerous...?)

Express

I know I am not highly qualified, nor do I have any experience, but I have to say that I would probably make a pretty good editor for the Express. This morning there was a nice "president prepared planned to visit." Hold on, what? He either prepared or he planned... How did you miss that?? Oh well whatever, I feel smarter than the average Express editor, and certainly smarter than the average Express reader (hey at least some people can read and that's a start).

Homeless

Not an extensive apartment search, but a draining and seriously depressing one has left me high and dry. Let's include Verizon in that for getting absolutely horrible service inside buildings. What is that about? Anyway, I am so sick of craigslist. Isn't that horrible? I feel almost guilty saying it but it has sucked the life out of me and made me absolutely dependent on checking apartment postings every hour. And every other posting imaginable, though not all at work. I am waiting for an apartment to fall into my open arms and  I am not quite so sure that is going to happen. Any suggestions for other places to look (yes yes  I know city paper, rent.com, apartments.com), I just want to live somewhere close enough to drive into the city for work everyday... :( What misery.

Nano...

OK, I'd seen the commercials and I was not impressed. Then we went into the apple store at the Pentagon City mall. (ASIDE: Where my cell does not work b/c Verizon is so stupid as to not work indoors but work on the metro and I am still apartment-less and VERY VERY depressed about it today.) Apple Store: Instead of wearing those hideous bright green easy to spot t-shirts, the staff now wear black stealth Nano t-shirts. Also unimpressive. But ohmygod, have you actually touched this thing? It is smaller than a credit card (and 3 or 4 times as thick) and so so sexy. It is what the 5th pocket was made for a' la best week ever. It is amazing. It is everything you always wanted (and never would have imaginied you did). I almost want to toss my cute pink ipod mini and get a nano. (However, I finally bought a hard case for the mini so I can put it in my bag and go to the gym w/o worrying about scratching it or banging it up.) Nano, compared to regular old ipod is ridiculous!!!!!! I hate to say it, but I love it, and I desparately want one. But I'm afraid it would be easily lost.

Post 1 of a few today, I think.

Robotman

Futile search for the Robotman comic where Robotman is in a bar and everyone is quoting titles from Beatles songs and at the end (sorry I'm going to ruin it for you) he gets stabbed/shot and goes... "Help!"

If anyone has any memory of this strip whatsoever and can point me in the right direction I would greatly appreciate it! (Google image search was kind of fruitless, I have a feeling it is in the book "Primary Crullers" but not sure, might spend the money at B&N b/c I have a member card and it would be under $10... is it worth it? When Robotman was still around it could be quite funny.)

How late do you work? (Or do you w4m on CL?)

Now here's one thing I don't understand:

The traffic going out of Georgetown (across Key Bridge to VA--radar detectors ILLEGAL) is heavier at 7pm than at 5pm.

Why exactly is that? It shouldn't take 2 hours to commute out of DC, like DC proper--if you can even understand the complexity of that statement you are not from around here, (because isn't the beltway a bigger problem than M street?) so why are all of these people still driving home? Does the metro get worse at 7 too? That seems sort of ridiculous, and also I truly hope it doesn't because at 430 there are far too many people inside my personal space bubble on the train for me to be comfortable. Does anyone work normal hours in this city?? By 7 you are supposed to be at home with your wife and kids with dinner on the table. My family was weird and we didn't eat until 8 or 9, I guess we thought we were European, but everyone else I knew had dinner at 6 every night. Maybe your family is stay at home dad though and I apologize to all the women I've just offended. Dad's should be able to cook without supervision in the kitchen by 2005 though, so he should still get dinner on the table at 630 (I'm allowing some wiggle room) and you should have already come home and changed out of your work clothes.

Ahh now I see why everybody is so fat--they work until 7 and come home and eat... (Yes, I am a hypocrite since I didn't get back from work until 7 and then my *wonderful* boyfriend took me to dinner & a pitcher of sangria. But I'm going back to the gym this weekend!)

So what are you doing so late in the day?

Maybe getting freaky with an 6' tall Asian girl (oh wait, she's trans) that you met on CL before you go home to your wife?

Note that CL is awesome, and also a little creepy if you have been reading the New Orleans m4w posts.

Brit's baby boy

I find it absolutely hilarious that Britney Spears, whose claim to fame was wearing the belly-baring Catholic school girl outfit had to have a C-section!

Not that anyone should be ashamed of thier bodies etc but you just have to laugh. (Anyone else notice that if she hadn't married Kevin Federline the baby's initials would be PMS instead of PMSF?)

John Roberts

There is something eerily familiar about John Roberts's grin. It's that same cocky and slightly dumbfounded smirk that someone else very important wears when trying to convince people that he is absolutely well qualified for what he is doing...

Did anyone else notice how absolutely bizarre it is that Roberts uses sports analogies like a 14 year old who has been checked into the boards too many times to do well in school?

Coffee stains, and destroys electronic circuits too.

The metro-rail operator spilled COFFEE on the train and put some riders in *serious danger* of falling out, but I can't drink MY coffee on the train because I might get arrested? (12 year olds almost got arrested for eating french fries. Notice I said French and not F-ing freedom fries.) Alright, let's arrest this train driver because he spilled coffee (at least he didn't fall asleep driving your train, post lunch nap feeling anyone). Riiight, I'm sensing a double-standard here, even if this guy wasn't supposed to be drinking coffee, wouldn't someone have noticed him with it? Maybe there was another operator on the train? But someone must have seen him get in the car to begin with, right? And he obviously carried the coffee on, as I'm sensing the metro trains are not high tech enough to support coffee makers (maybe that's just me). What exactly is going on here anyway?

Link to Today's Zippy at Washington Post

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/style/comics/king.htm?name=Zippy_the_Pinhead

The Express

Ugh, why are the comics in the Express the least funny things possible? I know it's free and I can read (in color) all of the comics online, but what point is it to waste a page of the express with "Pooch Cafe" and "The Duplex"? I've come to realize comics are a sign of LACK of sophistication in a newspaper. Notice how Washington Post has nearly 3 pages of comics ever day (really crappy comics too, it's so sad)? The Boston Globe, my hometown newspaper, has a page and a half, and mostly funny comics too. None of this Mary Worth crap. I admit, there's no sudoku but when you have chess and bridge who needs it? (joke!) And the revered New York Times... Has none. No comics in the New York Times because it's not playboy. (New Yorkers don't have time for fun anyway.)

Back to my original point being that the comics in the Express suck suck suck. Who is in charge of that? There have got to be other people out there in DC who feel the same way. We can't all be rich & dumb enough to read 3 pages of WP comics every day, right?

(I secretly admit that I love the comics and I wish that I could read 3 pages of comics every day, while I drink my coffee.)

But also, don't the comics ADMIT that they are not for children? So what is the point. Doesn't Zippy agree with it too (can you see this cartoon on the blog)? I mean, they have a kids page, so doesn't that say Hey, the comics is not for kids? And why does the WP put Doonesbury on a separate non-comics page? It's not an editorial cartoon. Well, it is, but it's more importantly a comic. Are they trying to shield people from Doonesbury's ideas by hiding it in the editorial page?

Who knew comics could make someone so angry. Damn this post rambles on and makes no sense. Congratulations if you read it all.

On the positive side of all things DC, the weather has been beautiful this week and hopefully it will continue! :)

What we can't say bad things about Bush?

Desperately wishing I had invested in a "Bush/Cheney 1984" bumper sticker during the election.

http://www.eonline.com/News/Items/0,1,17294,00.html?tnews

Poor Kanye. I know a good lot of the rest of the country feels the same way (how low are the approval ratings), but when you say it on TV somehow it's a bad thing? Was anyone even watching this last night?

Are we not allowed to dis the president now? A little creepy don't you think??

Diamonds are forever ring tone stuck in my head right now.

Twice in 3 days...

Have you seen the Seinfeld where George gets in the fight with that guy about parallel parking--whether he had the space if he was backing in or the other guy was going in forwards? That's like my life right now.
Two times this weekend I have pulled over to parallel park and the fucking dumbasses behind me drove up on my ass instead of passing me. The first incident was parking near the Rosslyn metro and was only a little bit my fault but combined with this guys idiocy.... Ohmygod. I pulled over to parallel and I admit my blinker wasn't on until after I stopped, then I blinked & put the car in reverse. This cab comes up my butt and won't go around me, so my wonderful (and angry) boyfriend jumps out of the car and yells to him to go around me. *There was no one behind this cab--it's not a well used street.* The cab driver is like "well what is she doing?" Uhm, hello! PARKING. So my boyfriend tells him to go around us again, and of course the cab driver can't do it. He's like I am too close or some other nonsense, so the boyfriend gets out of the car and says "Here, I'll help you, go around... I'll direct you." Of course super cab driver is dumbfounded! What kind of girl parks a car on a sidestreet? Anyway, he finally passes us and I parked (quite nicely, after all those months of parking at college I got really good at it). I won't even start with the cabs situation aorund here, it is absolute crap.
Incident 2: Monday morning, near Courthouse, going to park so we can get bagels. I see a spot and I pull to the side WITH my blinker. A guy driving a bmw pulls up my bum again. Hello??? So this time the windows were open and I stuck my arm out the window and waved him around me. What does he do? Clearly he doesn't pass me. At first I thought that maybe he wanted the space behind me, since there were two.... But I'm wrong--this guy pulls up next to me to be like "Hey what are you doing?" My response was clearly, PARKING. Ok wait, he still doesn't move. So I can't get into the space and out of the way. I've got the exasperated arm movements going on and he's all not moving and the guy has his window down and leans over and says "Is there a problem young lady?" Now it's pretty damn demeaning to call me a young lady since I am clearly not 15, but that's not even what angers me. So I'm like "Yeah, I'm parking!" And this guy finally finally pulls off and continues on his merry way.
Now it's one thing for a DC/VA cab driver to do it because this isn't NYC and they have no clue what they are doing, but a bmw? If you can afford that nice of a car you should know how to drive.... I don't think I have ever ever pulled up on someone's ass when they pull over to park, yet somehow this happens to me twice in one weekend?
Halas bitches.

Biking Part 2: Custis Trail

Or why you should expect to see me get hit by a bike(r).

First off: massive apologies to Mr. Bert & Ernie Jersey (Mr. Bej from now on), I gave you a dirty look this morning while I was crossing the Key Bridge because I didn't realize you were the one telling me that you were on my left.

Now that that's over...

Don't be surprised if I get run over by an angry biker trying to get to work or pedalling along the Custis trail in the Rosslyn area. My recent idea is to weave on the sidewalk so that they can't get past. This could cause accidents, seeing as it's probably not safe for me to meander on both sides of the yellow line. Such is life, bikers watch out you are not so high and mighty. Recently when I was running with my boyfriend a ton of bikes passed us (yeah, I can't run at bike-passing speed yet, but I am working real hard at it) and every time they did I got all angry and would "shout" at them. Usually it was an "I hate you (you sloppy slut)!" Uhm, if you heard me I am quite proud since I am not that loud, but then my boyfriend made me run on the inside so that I wouldn't intentionally hit one of the bikers.

Other recent ideas have involved yelling "On your right" as the bikes pass. As noted above I don't run at bike passing speed, but when I do I will do my best to On your left them.

Another is to carry a bike bell with me, and ring it as they pass. Haha. That one is definitely going to happen.

The third and most effective strategy imho involves the construction at the Air Force Association. I won't even get into the construction and the stupid guys with their backhoes tacking up the whole path, but did you ever notice those cones that keep people to far (highway) side of the path? You might have, there is also a sign posted that says "Dismount bike and walk past construction." Now I don't sit at the bike path all day every day, but I have not seen a single person dismounting the bike. Hmmmm, so my brilliant idea is to clearly not get out of the way and then be like, "Don't you see the sign? Get off your bike and walk!"

I will regain public use of the Custis Trail for non-bikers!!!! (Notice that it is not the Custis Bike Trail, just the Custis trail--we have a bike path at home which does use bike in the name... Hmmm.)

A final anecdote, I was walking to work one morning and 2 businessmen were leaving the Key Bridge Marriott. Lucky for me they were perplexed by the stupid bikers and asked what the protocol/traffic pattern was for walking on the "bike path". I just sort of looked at them and was like "Well, they think they rule the world." The businessmen laughed, probably because I was so angry so early in the morning, but it is a hard way to start your day...

Biking Part 1: Georgetown

I know it is 8am and no one is walking around Georgetown being the stupid tourists that they usually are, but please don't bike on the sidewalk in Georgetown. I understand the Key Bridge. You are forgiven. Bike across the Key Bridge as much as you want. But at 8am, it's likely the only people walking across it are quite familiar with the pattern of foot/bike traffic and do not need to hear you ringing those bells or shouting on your left.

And to the woman who shouted on your left very angry sounding this morning multiple times, I HEARD YOU. I wasn't about to dance out into traffic, though sometimes I am compelled to get in your way (more on that later though), so I think once is enough. Unless I am seriously in your way, once is more than enough.

But come on. There is NO NEED to bike in Georgetown. If you work up the hill near where Georgetown is, bike on the going to VA side and cross at the light and get the fuck up the hill as fast as your legs will take you. If you work actually work in Georgetown or are trying to get to Foggy Bottom there is a beautiful and way under-used bike trail along the canal. USE IT. Not only will "I not be in your way" (as I see it, you are in my way, hands down, I am the smaller/slower vehicle thus I have the right of way, check out how boat traffic works, and if you were to hit me it would be entirely your fault), the cars won't be in your way, you won't be riding on brick, there are no traffic lights, just a nice peaceful trail going along the canal. Sounds pleasant doesn't it? It's even good to run on, should you choose to get that kind of cardio.

I digress though, bikers you are sucky sucky sucky, outside of saving the environment. You don't own the world. I would like to teach you that.

Note: If you are the guy who bikes down the bike trail by the Key Bridge Marriott in the Ernie & Bert jersey, hey rock on, you are a-ok in my book, but everyone else, seriously get with it.

I Like...

OK, I LOVE...

Teaism.

They have the best ginger limeade.

For some reason the one near Farragut West was closed today (and I walked all the way there from Smithsonian after I went to the American History musuem today), so I took the train all the way up to Dupont.

And it was worth it. Go there!!!!

Walking

I've had enough of walking ANYWHERE around here. Not even walking, waiting for the bus even... Do people (excuse me, sketchy men) really have to beep at me when they see me standing on the corner waiting for the bus and reading my book or the express? How can they tell that I am pretty from so far away such that they are ready to beep at me when they drive past, because usually it's the guy in the passenger seat leering out the window who has to tell the driver to beep, right? OK seriously, when I am walking back from the gym, all sweaty and disgusting why in the world would you want to beep at me?
If I was less polite every guy that drove by me and beeped would get the double middle finger, but I've been told that's not a nice thing to do.
Besides, these guys are never attractive looking young men who any girl would want beeping at them, I'm sure they are upset that they can't get any pussy but trust me, you're not going to get some pussy that's walking while you are driving.

*Did I forget to mention that I DO NOT dress like a hooker/street whore while I am walking to work? (or at any time of day)*

My favorite story of all of the times that I have been beeped at happened while I was walking across the key bridge one afternoon. This guy driving a VW convertible, top down, not only (a) beeped, he also (b) yelled to me and (c) pulled--swerved--into the close lane!
Anyway, this has seriously been pissing me off the whole time I have been in DC. Why do men have no manners?